


pitch black, pale blue

by idlegoddess



Category: Marvel (Comics), Young Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Crying, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Not a lot ngl, Panic Attacks, Teddy needs a hug, and billy is there to give him allllll the hugs, but there are some disney references!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:08:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27200200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idlegoddess/pseuds/idlegoddess
Summary: Teddy has a nightmare, and Billy is there to help him when he wakes up.
Relationships: Teddy Altman/Billy Kaplan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52





	pitch black, pale blue

_He couldn't see through the fog—no, not fog, it was smoke—but somewhere in front of him, he could hear his mother screaming, sounding so far away no matter how close he got._

_"Mom?" Teddy called out, trying desperately not to think about the acrid smoke burning his lungs. God, he was so hot. There was no answer from his mother._

_"Mom?" He tried again._

_And then, from behind him—_

_"Teddy!"_

_Only it wasn't his mother's voice, it was Cassie's, and her voice was thick, and oh god, oh god she was choking and he couldn't see—_

_From his left:_

_"Teddy, please!" It was Billy, and his voice was hoarse as if he had been calling his name for hours, and he sounded panicked and Teddy needed to get to him—_

_From his right:_

_"Fuck, Teddy, please!" It was Eli, and he sounded scared, sounding more scared than he'd heard him before—_

_God, it was so dark, and the smoke was burning his eyes and his skin was hot, and he needed to help them._

_And then, all at once, there was screaming coming from all around him, and though he couldn't see them, he knew it was everyone he cared about, his team, his friends. (Cassie, her screams breaking off into coughs; Tommy, trying to guide Teddy, his voice trembling and scared; Eli, yelling and cursing; Kate, sobbing and choking; Billy, trying to comfort him even as his voice grew weaker; his mom, screaming and screaming until she stops—)_

******

Teddy shot bolt upright, a strangled gasp leaving his throat as he took in his surroundings. The smoke was gone ( _was never there to begin with_ , he reminded himself), and the room was quiet ( _it was just a dream, it was just a dream, it was just a dream_ ).

His friends were okay, and he was in his bed, and Billy was—

 _Billy_.

Teddy felt his heart lurch as he became aware that the spot next to him was empty, no longer warm from where Billy had been, and oh god he could feel his throat closing at the thought of something happening to him.

But then he heard quiet sounds coming from the kitchen, and Billy softly singing to whatever song was playing on the radio.

Teddy let out a breath, running a trembling hand through his hair.

Billy was okay.

He knew Billy was okay, knew that he was okay, and yet he still couldn't bring himself to focus; his blood was pounding in his ears, and he was shaking, and his heart was threatening to beat out of his ribcage.

Logically, Teddy knew he was having a panic attack. He's helped Billy through them enough, has had his fair share himself, that he knew all the signs. He knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, what he could be doing to help himself. But all he could hear were his mother's screams, his friends begging for help.

He quickly threw the blankets off of him, the heat suddenly becoming too much. Teddy drew his legs up to his chest, bringing his head between his knees as he tried to calm himself.

He took in a shaky breath, trying to hold it for at least a few seconds before letting it out. He tried repeating this, though his lungs refused to cooperate and he was gasping, his breaths coming in harsh pants.

_(It felt like he was drowning, only there was too much air and too little all at once, and what was he supposed to be doing again?)_

He didn't know how much time had passed since he woke from the nightmare, or how long he sat with his head between his knees, but eventually, he thought he heard a door creaking open and a worried voice in the distance.

When he felt the bed dip in front of him, Teddy didn't lift his head to look, too lost in the still too-real memories of the nightmare and too busy trying to get air to circulate into his lungs.

He knew Billy was speaking, but he couldn't focus on his words over his own heartbeat thundering in his ears. He felt warm hands cup his jaw, making him tilt his head up.

"—it's alright, you're safe, baby, I promise, but I need you to breathe for me, okay?" Billy's tone was firm yet gentle, his words laced with worry.

Teddy nodded into his hands and took a shuddering breath, his breath catching slightly in his throat. The more he repeated this, the more he listened to Billy's words, the easier it became to breathe and to focus.

"Yeah, just like that. You're doing so good, Ted," Billy praised, his thumbs wiping away tears that Teddy hadn't even realized were falling. "Deep breaths, okay? I've got you."

Teddy breathed in, slowly, then shakily let it out a few moments later. They sat like that for several minutes, Teddy's breathing becoming more stable as he repeated the exercises, Billy offering soft encouragements the entire time.

Finally, Teddy looked up at Billy. He was frowning, his hazel eyes wide with worry as they searched Teddy's face.

He couldn't stand being the reason for Billy's worrying.

"I'm sorry," Teddy whispered, voice weak. He reached a hand up to wrap around Billy's wrist, his thumb stroking the slight jut of bone there. "I-I didn't mean to worry you..."

Billy sighed and pulled his hands away, shifting so he was on his knees.

"Hey, c'mere," he murmured as he pulled Teddy into his arms. "You don't have to be sorry for anything." Teddy went limp into his arms, hiding his face in the crook of his neck.

He knew he didn't have anything to apologize for. And, if asked, Teddy wouldn't be able to tell how many times he has had to reassure Billy that he was okay, that he didn't need to apologize for being upset.

So, if anything, he knew that Billy probably understood what he was feeling better than anyone else.

Teddy felt a sudden surge of love towards the other boy; he didn't know what he did to deserve someone as adoring or understanding or loving as Billy Kaplan. Someone who could hold him as he fell apart, see him at his worst, softly reassure him that everything was okay and that he loved him and sound like he meant every word of it.

God, he loved him so much.

He cried, holding onto Billy tighter. They sat like that for several minutes: Teddy shaking as he cried, Billy quietly talking him through it as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Finally, after Teddy's cries had begun to quiet, he broke the silence.

"I'm sorry," he said again, his voice slightly muffled.

"Don't. You know you don't have to do that with me," Billy said. Teddy just nodded against his shoulder.

They were silent for a few moments before Billy spoke again.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked hesitantly. "It might help," he added on.

Teddy stiffened in his arms, slowly pulling back from Billy until he was sitting just in front of him.

He didn't want to talk about it, he didn't want to talk about how if he closed his eyes, he could still hear the sounds of his friends—of his family—screaming out to him for help, or how if he concentrated, he could still feel the smoke from his nightmare filling his lungs.

But Billy was right; talking would help, he knew, just as it always did. Even if the thought of recounting the nightmare was enough to cause his throat to tighten.

Teddy released a slow breath before opening and closing his mouth a few times.

"Bad dream, 's all," he finally muttered.

"They're getting bad again," Billy stated softly. "Will you tell me what it was about?"

"I was in this burning building. And-and my mom—" he broke off.

 _Breathe_ , he reminded himself.

Sadness dawned on Billy's face then, and he reached out to gently stroke Teddy's face.

Teddy closed his eyes and leaned into Billy's touch, inhaling shakily.

"My mom, I could hear her screaming for me to help her, but the smoke was too thick and I couldn't get to her," he stopped for a moment to collect himself. "And then it was _Cassie_ screaming, and she was choking and... and then it was you, and then Eli, and Tommy, and it. It was everyone and I couldn't do anything to help you before the fire..." Teddy gasped softly.

He knew that if he carried on anymore he would just end up panicking again, and he didn't want to go through that twice in the same morning. He didn't want to put Billy through that again, knowing that would just cause him to worry even more.

"Oh, Teddy... I'm sorry," Billy whispered, moving so he was sitting next to him. "I wish I could do something to help,"

Teddy took a shuddering breath and leaned into Billy's side; he focused on the way Billy moved his hand in small circles on his back, on the steady weight of Billy also leaning against him.

"You are," Teddy said in a hoarse voice, clearing his throat. "Thank you." 

"S'nothing to thank me for," Billy reminded him. "You do the same for me."

Teddy opened his mouth to say something else only to be cut off by a yawn, causing Billy to chuckle lightly. 

"Why don't you try to sleep?" He suggested. "I'll stay with you," he added quickly as Teddy opened his mouth to protest. 

"I don't know, Bee," Teddy said.

He didn't want to risk going back to sleep and having another nightmare. He was too scared that he'd wake up a second time that day with the echos of his friends screams in the back of his mind. 

"You're tired, Teddy. You just had a panic attack; your body needs rest," Billy sighed.

Teddy was silent for a moment. He wanted to protest, to tell him that he was anything but exhausted, but he was tired, could feel it deep in his bones, and he knew that Billy was right.

He also knew that telling him any different would make him a complete hypocrite, knowing that they'd had this exact conversation before, only the roles were reversed. 

He opened and closed his mouth before sighing.

"But. But what if I have the dream again?" He whispered. "

"Then I'll be there when you wake up," Billy promised, and Teddy could tell by the look in his eyes that he meant it. 

"But if you really don't want to try going back to sleep," Billy continued when Teddy didn't say anything, "I could always pull Netflix up on the laptop and we can watch a movie?"

Teddy knew what Billy was doing, and judging by the gleam in the dark-haired boy's eye, he could tell that Billy knew that he knew what he was up to. 

"So I'll fall asleep while watching it?" Teddy asked with a small smirk.

Billy smiled back at him.

"If you fall asleep, then you fall asleep. I'll have had no part in it," he chuckled lightly before sobering again. "Either way, if you do have another nightmare, I'll be there with you when you wake up."

Teddy looked at Billy, and he swore that he could feel his heart actually swell with love for the other boy. 

"Okay. But I'll um, I'll need to remake the bed," he said quietly, gesturing to the thrown blankets on the floor.

Billy laughed quietly before leaning in to kiss Teddy's cheek.

"Nope," he said, and as he leaned back Teddy could see the pale blue glow in his eyes. " _ **I've got it.**_ "

In an instant, the blankets rose just above the bed in a twirl of blue magic before softly fluttering down, straightening themselves out over the boys. 

Teddy just smiled and shook his head. 

"What? I thought you like it when I use my magic in bed?" Billy teased, and before he could get hit with the pillow Teddy lazily tossed at him, he was off the bed and crossing the room to get his laptop from the dresser. 

Despite feeling slightly better after his panic attack, Teddy was still exhausted, and the room was still dark from the thunderstorm outside, and he was yawning for the second time in five minutes. 

Billy sat next to him on the bed, having pulled his Netflix account up on the way back. 

"So, what do you want to watch?" Billy asked as he pulled the blankets over his lap. 

Teddy just hummed he fixed the pillows behind him. 

"You can pick," he told Billy. 

He watched as Billy scrolled for a few minutes before finally deciding on something, smiling when he saw what Billy had picked.

Back when they had first started dating, what seemed like all those years ago but was really only five, Billy had quickly learned that Teddy loved all things Disney. One day, during one of their many Disney marathons, Teddy had shyly told him that whenever he would feel upset or sick, his mother would cut on _Atlantis: The Lost Empire_ and tell him of all the adventures he would one day go on. Despite Teddy's face burning bright pink when telling him this, Billy thought it was adorable. 

As Teddy lay down on his side to face the screen, he felt Billy shifting to get comfortable behind him. There was a small gap between the two where there usually wasn't one, Billy wanting to give Teddy some space as he wasn't sure what he needed.

Teddy turned to glance over his shoulder, reaching one hand behind him to tug at Billy's arm. Billy seemed to have gotten the message and moved closer so his chest was pressed against Teddy's back, wrapping an arm around the blond.

They lay in silence for a few minutes, the only sounds coming from the storm outside and the soft dialogue of the movie. Teddy broke the quiet.

"Thank you. I know you say I don't need to, but. Thank you, for everything," he whispered.

He knew he didn't have to thank Billy, but he felt so much love and gratitude toward him and he needed Billy to know how much it meant.

Billy hummed softly and pressed a soft kiss to the base of Teddy's neck.

"I love you," he said.

Teddy brought one of Billy's hands to his chest and slowly stroked his thumb across his knuckles.

"I love you, too," Teddy muttered.

His breathing was beginning to even out, becoming slow and deep. He tried to keep his eyes open longer, tried to ignore the burn for as long as he could before he couldn't.

A part of Teddy was still scared to fall back asleep; he didn't know what his mind might throw at him, knowing that nothing could prepare him for the thought of waking up to his mother's screams in the back of his mind.

But in this moment, with the boy he loved more than anything in this universe—who loved him just as much back—holding him against his chest, a solid weight keeping him grounded and safe, he could feel the worry start to fade with every warm breath he felt on his neck.

Teddy drifted into a dreamless sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed this! i apologize for any possible mistakes, this was written at like 2 in the morning in about 30 minutes, though i think that i got most of the errors out.
> 
> also, kudos & comments are very much appreciated!! ♡


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